Frasier: Yes, well, I'm off. You know, I have a good feeling about tonight. I have a song in my heart, a little dance in my step, and dog saliva around my ankles.

Frasier: You know wine.
Madeline: Well, I try to make it a point to acquaint myself with the finer things in life.
Frasier: Oh, well, then, what would you like to know about me?

Madeline: I'm divorced also.
Frasier: Oh well, we have so much in common.
Madeline: I caught him cheating with my sister.
Frasier: Fabulous! ... The same thing happened to me.
Madeline: Boy, my sister gets around!
Frasier: [laughs] It's good to see that you've still kept your sense of humor.

Madeline: Yeah, but it isn't easy to get over something like that, is it?
Frasier: No. No, it's not. Those nights when you ask yourself how could this have happened? Was I insensitive to her needs?
Madeline: Was I too devoted to my work?
Frasier: Was I simply not good enough in bed? ... You'll reach for anything!

Frasier: All right, silence! Silence! Both of you just try to calm down. I'll see what I can do. Monsieur Degas, you are angry now. That is a temporary emotion. You are devastated because you think the bond between a
father and a daughter has been broken. She is no longer your little girl. But that's not possible. That bond cannot be broken. Not even by that young man cowering there in the corner who is so obviously the father. Come out. Come out, it's all right. We need more water!
Etienne: You? You can't even get water in a glass! How did you do this?!
Frasier: Monsieur Degas, please. Hold your daughter in your arms and tell her how you really feel.
Etienne: Yvette. Ah, Yvette, Yvette, ma petite, I love you...
Mrs. Degas: Thank you, monsieur. Thank you! Oh, oh. You are a god! And you, mademoiselle, are very lucky.
Madeline: I'm starting to realize that.
Frasier: Just another evening out with Dr. Frasier Crane.

Madeline: I'm a little hot in these clothes, aren't you?
Frasier: I'm sweating like the pig that knows he's dinner!
Madeline: I'll be right back.
Frasier: Oink!

Frasier: Hi, we're back. Roz tells me we have Chester on the line. Hello, Chester. How can I help you?
Chester: "I don't know. I've had a lot of fights with my wife lately. She feels I'm just wasting my life, standing still-"
Frasier: Spinning your wheels?
Chester: "Huh? I don't follow."
Frasier: Chester, I'm afraid this problem might be just a little too complex for the few seconds we have remaining. Uh, why don't you try to call us back tomorrow, I'll make sure that you get on first thing.
Chester: "Gee, it's awful tough to get through."
Frasier: Well, I'll tell you what, hang tight and when I get off the air I'll pick up and try to help you then.
Chester: "Take your time."

Frasier: Well, what are you reading so intently?
Roz: Oh, it's, uh, "Seattle" magazine, it's their "up-and-comers" issue: the hottest hundred men and women in town.
Frasier: Oh, let me see.
Roz: Don't you want to finish up with Chester?
Frasier: Oh, you heard him, he can wait.

Bulldog: Just got back from the gym! Did an hour on the Stairmaster! What do you think? Like a couple of little cherry tomatoes, huh?
Frasier: Thank you, Bulldog. You've just put me off salads for a month.

Frasier: Damn it! Eddie, I know you took the socks that go with this suit. Now where are they? [Eddie pulls out a pair of socks from under the couch] Brown socks with a blue suit? I think not, try again.