Frank Quote #814
Frank: Can I watch TV now?
Marie: No, Frank.
Frank: Then what the hell are we gonna do all night?
Hank: Less cursing, I hope.
Frank: Who cursed?
Hank: You referred to the antipode of heaven.
Frank: What the hell kind of moon-man talk is that?
More Everybody Loves Raymond Quotes
Quote from Mother's Day
Frank: Let me ask you something, pal. What have you had, a tough week? Well, I've been living with your mother since... before you were born!
Ray: Debra wouldn't let the twins tell a "knock, knock" joke!
Frank: She's right! "Knock, knock" jokes stink!
Ray: That's not the point! Mom came over with her friends to show how cute the twins are telling a "knock, knock" joke, and Debra couldn't even give her that little of joy!
Frank: Well, who the hell is Marie to come barging in, demanding joy, when Debra's wrestling with the damn kids?
Ray: She didn't have to be so rude!
Frank: Rude is the only thing that gets through to her! How do you think I got the way I am? I used to be a gentleman!
Quote from Talk to Your Daughter
Debra: Will you please stop? It turns out Ally doesn't want to know how we get here, she wants to know why we're here, why God put us on Earth. And she's waiting for Ray to answer her.
Frank: What's wrong with you? It's simple.
Ray: Oh, okay. Yeah. We're gonna learn the meaning of life from a guy who once threw his shoe at a swan.
Frank: That's called protecting your sandwich. Listen to me. Here's what life is: you're born, you go to school, you go to work, you die. That's it. That's all. Cannoli, Marie!
Quote from Frank Goes Downstairs
Marie: So that's how you both fell? A race around the house, which you often do as a tradition?
Ray: Uh, yeah.
Frank: Stupid, humped-up termite trap!
[Frank falls through the stairs]
Marie: Oh, my God! Frank, are you all right?
Frank: [o.s.] Holy crap!
Marie: Don't move, I'm coming right down!
Frank: [o.s.] I'm in enough pain!
Quote from Robert
Debra: Uh, Ray, why don't you help us set the table?
Ray: Oh, uh, can't you guys do it? I'm a little tired.
Debra: Yeah. He was up all night with your mother.
Ray: We were just doing a puzzle.
Debra: Mm-hmm. And talking till 2:00 in the morning. And not just small talk. Very meaningful, hmm? Him and Pat.
Robert: You had a meaningful conversation with her?
Robert: Just not enough mothers in the world for you, are there, Raymond, huh?
Quote from Frank
Hank: That reminds me. We don't want to miss the morning's worship. Do you know of any good Presbyterian churches around here? I left my directory at home.
Marie: We were thinking that it would be easier if we all went to our church.
Hank: You mean your... Catholic church?
Frank: Yeah. Problem?
Hank: I don't know.
Pat: Oh, why not, Hank? It's interesting to observe other denominations.
Frank: Yeah. It'll be like a safari for you. Who knows? On the way, we might even spot a herd of Lutherans.
Quote from Pat
Pat: I brought one from home.
Hank: Ah, there you go.
Pat: I thought this would be nice for Easter. Oh, my.
Ray: "Sacred Death"?
Amy: Is that a heavy-metal band?
Pat: This must be one of Peter's. It was dark in the closet, and I just saw the word "sacred."
Robert: A heavy metal puzzle.
Pat: Look, it says, "500 pieces of head-banging fun."