Frank Quote #886
Frank: Hey, could you pass the salt?
Marie: [shocked] What did you say?
Frank: I want to put some salt on this.
Marie: In 47 years of marriage you've never salted my lasagna.
Frank: Marie, it's bad enough it needs it. You gotta remind me how long we've been married?
Marie: That doesn't need salt. [moves the salt shaker away] What's this about, Frank? Are you mad at me?
Frank: No, I just want the salt.
Marie: Baloney. It's because I yelled at you last night for blowing your nose into your sock, isn't it?
Frank: No, all I'm saying is this is not doing it for me.
Marie: Oh. Well, then by all means have the salt.
Frank: Thank you.
[As Frank salts his food, Marie takes both their plates and throws them in the sink]
Frank: "Pass the salt." The list of things I'm allowed to say is getting shorter.
Quote from Frank
Ray: Dad, I mean, you're gonna have to stop taking those.
Frank: No way. These babies work.
Robert: Hey, uh, Dad. Do you really need those?
Frank: Hey, your time will come, wise guy. I might not get to hit that often, but when you're called to the plate you better bring a bat.
Quote from Marie
Frank: I'll live with it, okay?
Marie: Oh, that's it-- "I'll live with it."
Ray: Ma, now you know that it's not your cooking. You still got it. So now you can be happy again.
Marie: Happy? How could I be happy? I'm Rembrandt, and he's blind.
Quote from Marie
Marie: Honey, it breaks my heart that you think that I might not see you as a man. And you have to know by now that I couldn't possibly think any less of you.
Amy: [to Debra] That is so sweet.
Marie: And I appreciate how difficult it must have been for you to have to decide between my food and our physical relationship.
Debra: [to Amy] Maybe we should go shopping now.
Marie: And I want you to know that I'm touched that our years in the boudoir have meant so much to you.
Frank: Well, they have. But if it's all the same to you, I'd rather have the food.
Marie: Me too. [they hug] Oh, Frank. Oh, Frank, I was hoping you'd say that. [as they hug] Oh, Frank. I don't think you need those pills.
Frank: No, those are the pills.
Quote from Mother's Day
Frank: Let me ask you something, pal. What have you had, a tough week? Well, I've been living with your mother since... before you were born!
Ray: Debra wouldn't let the twins tell a "knock, knock" joke!
Frank: She's right! "Knock, knock" jokes stink!
Ray: That's not the point! Mom came over with her friends to show how cute the twins are telling a "knock, knock" joke, and Debra couldn't even give her that little of joy!
Frank: Well, who the hell is Marie to come barging in, demanding joy, when Debra's wrestling with the damn kids?
Ray: She didn't have to be so rude!
Frank: Rude is the only thing that gets through to her! How do you think I got the way I am? I used to be a gentleman!
Quote from The Nice Talk
Frank: Can I watch TV now?
Marie: No, Frank.
Frank: Then what the hell are we gonna do all night?
Hank: Less cursing, I hope.
Frank: Who cursed?
Hank: You referred to the antipode of heaven.
Frank: What the hell kind of moon-man talk is that?
Quote from Talk to Your Daughter
Debra: Will you please stop? It turns out Ally doesn't want to know how we get here, she wants to know why we're here, why God put us on Earth. And she's waiting for Ray to answer her.
Frank: What's wrong with you? It's simple.
Ray: Oh, okay. Yeah. We're gonna learn the meaning of life from a guy who once threw his shoe at a swan.
Frank: That's called protecting your sandwich. Listen to me. Here's what life is: you're born, you go to school, you go to work, you die. That's it. That's all. Cannoli, Marie!