Frank Quote #588
Debra: Will you please stop? It turns out Ally doesn't want to know how we get here, she wants to know why we're here, why God put us on Earth. And she's waiting for Ray to answer her.
Frank: What's wrong with you? It's simple.
Ray: Oh, okay. Yeah. We're gonna learn the meaning of life from a guy who once threw his shoe at a swan.
Frank: That's called protecting your sandwich. Listen to me. Here's what life is: you're born, you go to school, you go to work, you die. That's it. That's all. Cannoli, Marie!
More Everybody Loves Raymond Quotes
Quote from Mother's Day
Frank: Let me ask you something, pal. What have you had, a tough week? Well, I've been living with your mother since... before you were born!
Ray: Debra wouldn't let the twins tell a "knock, knock" joke!
Frank: She's right! "Knock, knock" jokes stink!
Ray: That's not the point! Mom came over with her friends to show how cute the twins are telling a "knock, knock" joke, and Debra couldn't even give her that little of joy!
Frank: Well, who the hell is Marie to come barging in, demanding joy, when Debra's wrestling with the damn kids?
Ray: She didn't have to be so rude!
Frank: Rude is the only thing that gets through to her! How do you think I got the way I am? I used to be a gentleman!
Quote from Frank Goes Downstairs
Marie: So that's how you both fell? A race around the house, which you often do as a tradition?
Ray: Uh, yeah.
Frank: Stupid, humped-up termite trap!
[Frank falls through the stairs]
Marie: Oh, my God! Frank, are you all right?
Frank: [o.s.] Holy crap!
Marie: Don't move, I'm coming right down!
Frank: [o.s.] I'm in enough pain!
Quote from Wallpaper
Frank: I'll have the brakes checked when I get the taillight fixed.
Debra: The taillight?! Frank! Look at the house.
Frank: I saw it. Look at this. This drywall, it's like paper. Probably foreign-made. On the other hand, say what you want about American cars... Beats a house.
Quote from Debra
Ray: What, you want me to have the sex talk with her?
Debra: Yeah, right.
Ray: What, you don't think I can do it? I'll have the sex talk with her.
Debra: You know what, Ray? You can be there, and I'll explain it to the both of you.
Quote from Robert
Robert: You ever think about space? What is it? Is it really endless? I mean, if you had a spaceship, could you go flying and flying forever?
Frank: Why don't you give it a shot?
Robert: No! I'm not kidding around here. How can space go on forever, and if it doesn't, then what's at the end, huh?
Marie: Stop it, Robbie, you'll give yourself a tummy ache.
Robert: What about the beginning of time? What was there before that, before time? Nothing? I mean, what is nothing? How could there be nothing? This doesn't bother anybody else?!
Quote from Frank
Frank: Hey, Marie, while you're holding that Bible, I've got a question for you. Did you eat the two missing cannolis?
Marie: Frank, I'm not gonna let you use the Bible like that.
Frank: Answer me, yes or no?
Marie: This is ridiculous! [puts down the bible] No, I didn't eat those two cannolis.
Frank: Did you see what she did? Pick it up and tell us what happened to those cannolis!
Marie: Oh, shut up!
Frank: Thou shalt not eat the cannoli!