Debra Quote #313

Quote from Debra in Fighting In-Laws

Ray: Hey, your parents seem to be doing okay. It's nice.
Debra: It's not nice. My father just said, "Holy crap."
Ray: What? You always wanted our parents to get along.
Debra: Yeah, but I didn't want my parents to convert. Look at them.
Lois: You were right, Marie. Debra could get this rug a lot cleaner.
Warren: [groans] Oh, Frank, I got to tell you. I overdid it this year. [unbuttons belt]
Frank: You know what you need, pal? A pair of my special stretchy pants.

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 ‘Fighting In-Laws’ Quotes

Quote from Debra

Debra: You know what, Ray? It's a private matter. And my parents, unlike yours, don't feel the need to inflict their lives on everybody else.
Ray: Or, maybe they're a little embarrassed, because as it turns out, they're not so perfect.
Debra: Yeah, or maybe they're just trying to work out their problems before their marriage degenerates into a screaming match like your parents. Arguing about how deep a pan is before it's a pot. "If it's three inches, it's a pot! Everybody knows that, Marie!" "If you can't boil an egg in it, it's not a pot, you jackass!"
Ray: Hey, either way, your perfect little Connecticut "Oh, make sure you cut the crust off my cucumber sandwich"-parents are frauds!
Debra: You listen. If my parents lit an orphanage on fire on Christmas Eve, they wouldn't be as bad as your parents!

Quote from Lois

Marie: Is everything all right, dear?
Lois: Oh, he is just impossible.
Marie: Go on.
Debra: Mom? Are you-
Marie: It's all right, dear. We're talking.
Lois: I am so tired of my opinion counting for nothing! Everything has to be his way! I swear, ever since he retired, it's not like I'm his wife anymore, I'm his employee, and it's all I can do to keep from strangling him.
Marie: I feel so close to you.
Lois: Do you know he makes me iron his jeans? He insists that they have a crease.
Marie: At least he can wear jeans. The last time I got a pair for Frank, it was from the maternity jeans. And I told him they were just stretchy. [Marie and Lois hug]
Debra: Oh, my God.

 Debra Barone Quotes

Quote from The Angry Family

Debra: First of all, it's not a book. It's pieces of construction paper.
Ray: You sound a bit close-minded.
Debra: Hey. Eileen, you have no idea what I have to put up with. When I got married, I didn't just get a husband, I got a whole freak show that set up their tent right across the street. And that- That would be fine, if they stayed there. But every day... Every day, they dump a truckload of their insane family dreck into my lap. How would you like to sit through two people in their 60s fighting over who invented the lawn? The lawn! And then the brother, "I live in an apartment. I don't even have a lawn. Raymond has a lawn." But you can't blame him when you see who the mother is. She has this kind of sick hold on the both of them. And the father's about as disgusting a creature as God has ever dropped onto this planet. So no wonder the kid writes stories! I should be writing stories. My life is a Gothic novel! And until you have lived in that house, with all of them in there with you day after day, week after week, year after friggin' year, you are in no position to judge me!

Quote from Fighting In-Laws

Debra: You know what, Ray? It's a private matter. And my parents, unlike yours, don't feel the need to inflict their lives on everybody else.
Ray: Or, maybe they're a little embarrassed, because as it turns out, they're not so perfect.
Debra: Yeah, or maybe they're just trying to work out their problems before their marriage degenerates into a screaming match like your parents. Arguing about how deep a pan is before it's a pot. "If it's three inches, it's a pot! Everybody knows that, Marie!" "If you can't boil an egg in it, it's not a pot, you jackass!"
Ray: Hey, either way, your perfect little Connecticut "Oh, make sure you cut the crust off my cucumber sandwich"-parents are frauds!
Debra: You listen. If my parents lit an orphanage on fire on Christmas Eve, they wouldn't be as bad as your parents!