Everybody Loves Raymond - Frank Quote #226

Quote from Frank in Driving Frank

Frank: [horn honks]
Ray: Dad, it's 7:00 A.M. What the hell are you doing?
Frank: Let's go! My test is at 7:30!
Ray: What? What test?
Frank: At the DMV! I gotta take the stupid test again and they got some rule about going with a licensed driver!
Ray: I'm not going now! [Frank honks the horn again] Hey! Stop it!
Man: [o.s.] Barone, you stupid ass!
Ray: Hey, I'm on it! I got it! I got it! All right, Dad! I'm coming, shut up.

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‘Driving Frank’ Quotes

Quote from Frank

Debra: Wait, you're driving without a valid license?
Frank: I didn't want to wait in those long lines! Besides, I kinda like the picture on this one. See, 10 lbs. lighter and more hair.
Debra: This expired last year.
Marie: I am not driving with you until you get that renewed!
Frank: That's incentive? Why couldn't my marriage license expire?

Quote from Frank

Frank: See, now there's a line for skeeball. We're screwed!
Debra: Where have you been?
Frank: We ran into traffic.
Ray: It wasn't traffic, Dad. It was a funeral procession.
Frank: One less idiot in the world.
Marie: That's a terrible thing to say. You don't even know the person.
Frank: We met the family. And believe me, the family Van Idiot.

Quote from Frank

Robert: Now let me see your license!
Frank: Sorry, Sally, I'm fighting this!
Robert: There is black and white on the side of your car!
Frank: I hit a penguin!
Robert: I'm writing the ticket!
Frank: That's Barone! B-a-r-o-n-e! As in the man from whose loins you sprung! By the way, I hope you have someplace else to sleep tonight! Because if you try to come home, I'm gonna have you arrested for breaking and entering! [exits]
Robert: [to Ray & Debra] Does that couch pull out?

Frank Quotes

Quote from Mother's Day

Frank: Let me ask you something, pal. What have you had, a tough week? Well, I've been living with your mother since... before you were born!
Ray: Debra wouldn't let the twins tell a "knock, knock" joke!
Frank: She's right! "Knock, knock" jokes stink!
Ray: That's not the point! Mom came over with her friends to show how cute the twins are telling a "knock, knock" joke, and Debra couldn't even give her that little of joy!
Frank: Well, who the hell is Marie to come barging in, demanding joy, when Debra's wrestling with the damn kids?
Ray: She didn't have to be so rude!
Frank: Rude is the only thing that gets through to her! How do you think I got the way I am? I used to be a gentleman!

Quote from The Nice Talk

Frank: Can I watch TV now?
Marie: No, Frank.
Frank: Then what the hell are we gonna do all night?
Hank: Less cursing, I hope.
Frank: Who cursed?
Hank: You referred to the antipode of heaven.
Frank: What the hell kind of moon-man talk is that?

Quote from Talk to Your Daughter

Debra: Will you please stop? It turns out Ally doesn't want to know how we get here, she wants to know why we're here, why God put us on Earth. And she's waiting for Ray to answer her.
Frank: What's wrong with you? It's simple.
Ray: Oh, okay. Yeah. We're gonna learn the meaning of life from a guy who once threw his shoe at a swan.
Frank: That's called protecting your sandwich. Listen to me. Here's what life is: you're born, you go to school, you go to work, you die. That's it. That's all. Cannoli, Marie!