Ray Quote #396
Frank: The South's short of a few guys so you're going to have to fight on their side. [Robert chuckles]
Ray: South? Come on, I don't want to fight on the South. I want to be with you guys at this thing.
Harry: A rebel in a Union camp? That is out of the question, soldier.
Ray: I'm not a rebel! Come on, I don't know those guys. I'm going to be all shy.
Harry: Don't make me slap you.
Ray: I'm never going to pass for a Southerner, okay? What if they hear me talk?
Robert: Maybe they'll hang you as a spy.
Harry: Robert, want to give me a hand? I have a cannon in the trunk of my car.
Robert: Sir, yes, sir!
Ray: Wait. Robert, talk to this guy, will you? I don't want to fight for the South. I can't eat grits and say "y'all."
Robert: I like you on the other side. It's more authentic. Brother against brother. [whistles "Battle Hymn of the Republic"]
Everybody Loves Raymond Quotes
‘Civil War’ Quotes
Quote from Frank
Frank: All right. This house is secure. I want lunch.
Harry: May I escort you across the street, Miss Marie?
Marie: Thank you, Jeb. What a gentleman.
Frank: Hey, if you're gonna act like you're stealing her away, don't tease me. Steal her away!
Quote from Robert
Ray: You're this big Civil War freak now, just because Dad asked you to go first?
Robert: He didn't ask me.
Ray: What?
Robert: He didn't ask me. Since when does Dad ask us to do anything with him? I had to enlist.
Ray: God, I don't believe this. I only did this because.
Robert: Because you thought he asked me and not you. And now you have to go. [laughs] Hey, better bring a newspaper.
Ray: They had newspapers then.
Robert: They didn't have toilet paper.
Quote from Frank
Frank: Ah, my feet are killing me. I think these boots are a size too small. Tell me, what's it say on the bottom of my right boot?
Ray: "Left."
Frank: Oh, crap. What's it say on the other one?
Ray: Guess.