Ray Quote #312
Ray: I don't think it was because I needed to play more golf. I think it was because I was feeling guilty about tricking you into letting me play golf.
Debra: What are you talking about? I told you to go.
Ray: No, no, no, no. No, you only thought that you did.
Debra: Ray, come on, I was there when I said it.
Ray: Yeah, it was kind of a con job.
Debra: What?
Ray: It was funny. Yeah, the whole Kevin asking me in front of you, me turning him down. We kind of played you. Sorry.
Debra: So, what about the doctor's? You know, where he tells you to play golf forever.
Ray: That was real.
Debra: So, when you told the doctor that you tricked me into letting you play golf, he recommended more golf?
Ray: ... I might have left out the tricking part.
Debra: Really?
Ray: I was going to tell him, but then when he prescribed golf I kind of forgot.
Everybody Loves Raymond Quotes
‘Golf’ Quotes
Quote from Marie
Marie: Listen, I know this has been hard on you, honey. And you're doing everything you can for Raymond. But maybe the way you can help him relax is very simple.
Debra: What do you mean?
Marie: Well, I couldn't help wondering, dear, are you making yourself available to him? You know what I'm talking about?
Debra: Please, Marie!
Marie: Listen, you know Raymond doesn't like to ask for things.
Debra: Do we have to talk about this?
Marie: I'm just trying to help.
Debra: You know, I didn't say anything when you told me how Ray liked his underwear folded, but this is over the line.
Marie: Well, I'm sorry, but Raymond needs your help. Debra, you... Have a glass of wine first!
Quote from Ray
Doctor Sundram: Ray, your mind is like, for lack of a better word, a donkey. You can only throw so many bags on its back before it lies down and won't get up.
Ray: Right.
Doctor Sundram: Right. So you've got to relieve some of that stress. Do things that relax you. What do you enjoy doing?
Ray: Well, I like to golf.
Doctor Sundram: Well, then, by all means, get out there and play as much golf as you can.
Ray: Well, wait a minute. Wait. That's where this episode happened.
Doctor Sundram: Oh, that could have happened anywhere. You've been on the road a lot. You got a wife, three kids, parents across the street. This was a long time coming. Play some golf.
Ray: So I have to go home, and tell my wife that I need to play more golf?
Doctor Sundram: Doctor's orders.
Ray: Okay. Let me ask you, would I see a podiatrist or a proctologist to get a foot removed from my ass? [chuckles]
Quote from Frank
Frank: What the hell? Who's throwing chicken bones in here? Holy crap.
Ally: Oh, time-out for Grandpa.
Debra: Frank, do you have to curse?
Frank: Do you want it fixed? Bastard chicken bones. I need my frigging needle-nose. [to Ray] Bones in the garbage!