Ray: Two serving nada, I'm ashamed to be his fada.

Ray: You know, I wanna say one thing. Anytime we've ever played ping-pong, or played anything, you've always been...
Frank: Better?
Ray: A jerk.
Frank: A jerk? I'm not a jerk, I'm a survivor.
Ray: No, jerk I think works.

Ray: So if you were trying to help me back then, then why did we stop playing?
Frank: Because you beat me.
Ray: I did?
Frank: Yeah.
Ray: You didn't let me win?
Frank: No.

Ray: Well, look, if it makes you feel any better, you just beat me.
Frank: You're just saying that.
Ray: No, I'm not. It's true. I was trying my best down there and you skunked me.
Frank: I knew it! [sings] Ta-ta-ta-ta, I'm still number one.
Ray: Oh, come on. All right. What about the tough life and trying to make me better?
Frank: Meant every word.
Ray: Okay, so another lesson, right?
Frank: Watch and learn.

Frank: Hear ye! Hear ye! Will all women and children please retreat to a safe distance? Except for my little girl Raymond. One butt shellacking, coming up.