Robert: Ma! Where's Ma?
Ray: Why? What's the matter?
Robert: Dad got into the ham.
Ray: Did you leave it on the counter? He jumps up there.
Marie: What did he do?
Robert: He's lopping off slices of it and putting it into the toaster. Like pork Pop-Tarts.
Marie: Every year. Last year, I caught him in the car with it.