Jerome Quote #1
Quote from Jerome in Everybody Hates Fat Mike
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Bed-Stuy wasn't the best neighborhood in Brooklyn, but it wasn't quite as bad as people thought. You say, "Bed-Stuy," and people think this...
[archive footage of police using the water hose on people, people rioting amid burning buildings and burned out vehicles]
Adult Chris: [v.o.] But it was a pretty regular place. Mail got delivered. People ran businesses. Kids played in the street. My problem was, since I didn't go to school in the neighborhood, the thugs didn't know me, so they would rob me almost every single day.
Jerome: Yo, yo, yo, little man. You live around here?
Chris: I live right down there.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I could tell him where I lived, but then he might break in my house.
Thug #1: Man, what school you go to?
Chris: Corleone Junior High.
Jerome: Corleone? You ever heard of that?
Thug #1: No.
Jerome: Y'all ever heard of Corleone Junior High?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] These fools never heard of Yale!
Jerome: Hey, man, we ain't never heard of that. So, uh, why don't you let me hold a dollar?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] In case you didn't know, when a criminal says, "Let me hold something," that means you're never getting it back.
[fantasy: a masked gunman points his gun at a cashier:]
Masked Gunman: Let me hold your cash register.
[reality:]
Jerome: Thank you.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] It could have been worse. I could have been going to pay the light bill.
Everybody Hates Chris Quotes
‘Everybody Hates Fat Mike’ Quotes
Quote from Rochelle
Adult Chris: [v.o.] As much as my mother complains about housework, she hated to have somebody else do it. And after my father got his job back, she got to do one of the things she does best...
[cut to Rochelle in the office:]
Rochelle: File your own damn papers. I do not need this. My husband has two jobs.
Quote from Rochelle
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I didn't know Fat Mike's real name, I didn't know where he lived. All I knew was, I had to get my bike back, because if I didn't...
[fantasy:]
Tonya: Mama, where's Chris?
Rochelle: Somebody stole his bike after I told him not to let anybody ride it. So I smacked him into next week.
Drew: I told you.
Rochelle: He'll be back on Tuesday.
Quote from Rochelle
Julius: Rochelle, I feel bad enough about not working. I don't need you around here complaining about how I do things.
Rochelle: Well, if you did things right, I wouldn't have complain.
Julius: Half the stuff around here I do better than you. It ain't that hard.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] My father was the oldest of ten brothers and sisters. He had been cooking and cleaning all of his life. But even if the job wasn't that hard, he's not supposed to say it.
Rochelle: What? You got something to say?
Announcer: [over title card] WARNING! The following scene contains language of a frank and explicit nature.
Viewer discretion is advised.
Rochelle: Well, ain't this about a bitch?! [glass shattering] Are you crazy?! You do my job for one day. [glass shattering] And I make that damn hard! You baking, frying, biscuit-baking, pancake-making, bald-headed bastard!
[one hour later:]
Rochelle: You must think I'm crazy! [glass shattering] You can kiss my ain't-that-hard... [loud thudding] Have you lost your mind?!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] And that was my mother's way of letting him off easy.