Colm: She made the whole thing up! As mad as a bag of cats, she was.
Police Officer: Sir.
Colm: And she had been clattering the wean in thon fake tan stuff, to make him more Spanish-y looking, you know?
Police Officer: There's a van matching the descriptions on CCTV.
Colm: Which how suspicions were raised, you see, because there was a powerful whiff off the wee critter.
Chief Inspector Byers: That'll do. Thank you very much for your time. You've been a huge help. We'll take it from here.
Erin: We can go?
Chief Inspector Byers: Yes, please. Do, go, right now. And for the love of suffering Jesus, take him with ye.
Erin: Thank you, you're a legend, Colm, a legend!
Clare: Thank you, Colm!
Colm: Any time, wains! Any time at all!