Diane Quote #191

Quote from Diane in Affairs of the Heart

Diane: If you could see past your codpiece, you'd notice I was referring to that gentleman over there.
Sam: Hank?
Diane: Yeah, he's been watching Carla all week. Haven't you seen how he gives her her those mooney-eyed looks? It's almost embarrassing. If he were any more overcome with desire, there'd be drool on his chin.
Sam: Excuse me. [wipes Diane's chin] What were you saying?
Diane: Well, for whatever reason, he's attracted to Carla, but he doesn't seem to be able to get started. I think I should help him.
Diane: No, you shouldn't. We'll compromise. I'll help him.
Sam: I knew we could work this out.

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 ‘Affairs of the Heart’ Quotes

Quote from Norm

Sam: Hey, come on. It's only a quarter.
Norm: Only a quarter? That's easy for you to say. Maybe this will change your tune.
Coach: Sam, watch it. He's going for his gun.
Norm: It's my calculator, Coach. I'm going to have to figure out how much I can drink and still stay within my suds allowance. Hmm.
Sam: What have you got?
Norm: I'm going to have to cut back 8.7%. Comes out to one beer every half hour. I'm going to have to drink a little more slowly. [Norm downs a beer] Slowing down isn't so bad.

Quote from Norm

Norm: [enters] Afternoon, everybody.
All: Norm!
Diane: Norman.
Coach: How's life, Norm?
Norm: Ask a man who's got one. [Coach serves him a beer] Ah, here's mine now.

Quote from Carla

Carla: The only thing I'm scared of is if I go to bed with him he's gonna be so crazed with desire I'll never get rid of him.
Sam: Ah, Carla, that's not what you're afraid of. You're afraid that you're going to fall for this guy.
Carla: No, I'm not going to fall for this guy. I've already fallen for this guy.
Sam: Ah-ha. And now you're afraid he's going to turn into a jerk?
Carla: No, smart guy. He's already a jerk.
Sam: Why's he a jerk?
Carla: Because he's dishonest.
Sam: Why is he dishonest?
Carla: Because he's hiding the fact that he's a jerk.