Woody Quote #192
Quote from Woody in I on Sports
Carla: I hate this uniform. It is ugly. It makes me look like a beached whale. And on top of everything I can't find any earrings to go with it.
Sam: Try some broccoli.
Carla: Ha-ha-ha! I mean it, Sam. I really hate it.
Woody: Oh, I used to like it, but now I'm getting kind of tired of it. Feel like I'm wearing the same thing every day.
Sam: Listen, I'm not a big fan of them either but let's just give it our best here. Come on. Come on.
Carla: Come on, Sam, can't you just talk to the Iron Maiden? Convince her to get rid of them. Come on.
Sam: Oh, Miss Howe, uh, about the uniforms.
Rebecca: Oh, I'm glad you reminded me. The dry cleaning plant is on strike. Now, we may not have fresh uniforms for at least a week, so I want you to be extra careful with those. [exits]
Sam: [pours beverages down shirt] Oops.
Carla: [uses water hose to drench uniform] Oh, no.
Woody: Um you guys are going to get it. Didn't you hear what Miss Howe just got through... [Sam and Carla mess up Woody's uniform] [laughing] I get it. [Woody pours orange juice over his uniform]
Cheers Quotes
‘I on Sports’ Quotes
Quote from Sam
[on TV:]
Sam: Tonight I'm going to tackle the issue that's tearing professional sports apart: natural grass or artificial turf? Now this reporter's not afraid to say that he's firmly in favor of natural grass. It's softer, causes fewer injuries, and let's face it, folks: it looks prettier on TV. That's just one guy's opinion. Joanne?
Joanne: Gee, Sam, I heard somewhere that in an indoor stadium it's impossible to grow real grass.
Sam: Well, yes, yes, uh... In indoor stadiums, you have to use the fake stuff.
Dr. Buzz: And I've heard that some of the more recent synthetic blends actually do help reduce injuries.
Sam: Oh. Well, I hadn't heard that, Doc. That's pretty amazing.
Joanne: So what are you saying here, Sam?
Sam: Well, I guess I'm saying that I could go either way on it.
Joanne: So you have no opinion on this?
Sam: No, I have two opinions. And that's one guy's opinions.
Quote from Sam
Sam: [on TV] The Graf-Everett final may be a good match-up, but if you ask this I on Sports, the fact that Martina Navratilova decided to sit this one out
Norm: Ooh, to say "Martina Navra- whoever" without even-
Sam: [on TV] You know, I got a phone call today from a teenager saying I was taking advantage of my status as an ex-ballplayer and that old squares like me shouldn't be doing the sports. Well, Corky, tonight's commentary is directed right at you. [hip-hop music plays] [Sam raps:] Time to rap about a controversy Gonna take a stand, won't show no mercy A lot of folks say jocks shouldn't be Doing the sports news on TV I don't want to hear the latest scores From a bunch of old broadcasting school bores So get your scores from a guy like me Who knows what it's like to have a groin injury G-G-Groin, g-g-groin G-G-Groin injury. [music stops] Joanne.
Joanne: [on TV] Dr. Buzz, there must be some weather.
Quote from Rebecca
Dave Richards: Excuse me. The alarm just went off. [to Rebecca] I make an ungodly amount of money and I know exactly how to use it.
Rebecca: You must be a friend of Mr. Malone's.
Dave Richards: Well, you know what they say, "The good-looking ones travel in pairs." And, uh, that's certainly true in your case.
Rebecca: Do you have the time?
Dave Richards: 4:30.
Rebecca: Good, 'cause I just wanted to remember the exact moment I met the biggest jerk on Earth.
Dave Richards: [Sam laughs] Tough woman, tough woman.
Sam: You got that right. I wear a cup to work.