Kevin: Can I have your attention? I've been sitting here drinking all evening. Now I have something important to say.
Cliff: Yeah, it's down the hall to the left, guy.
Kevin: First, I'd like to make a public apology to the young lady I insulted earlier this evening. I lost my head.
Coach: Kevin, please, don't worry about it.
Diane: Apology accepted, Kevin.
Kevin: Second, I'd like to thank you all for helping me see the light. It is clear now that I am not fit for the monastery. I succumb too easily to the pleasures of the flesh.
Norm: That's OK. Don't worry about it.
Kevin: Tonight... Tonight has proven that I belong here, in a bar, drinking booze with seedy degenerates, and getting slapped around by cheap dames.
Coach: Kevin, it's our pleasure.
Sam: I'm gonna give you a real man's drink here. It's called coffee.
Kevin: Coffee? Men drink that?
Sam: Men who've had too much to drink do.