Carla: Oh, Sammy! Look at you, you're bald! All this time, the great Sam Malone's hair is nothing but a fraud!
Sam: Hey, at least I didn't sleep with Paul!
Carla: Paul, Schmall, that's nothing!
Sam: Yeah, nothing. It was a pretty big deal a minute ago.
Carla: Yeah, well, that was before I found out you wear a piece.
Sam: Hair replacement system! Hair replacement system! You know, if you're not going to use the proper terminology, I think I'd just like to be by myself right now.
Carla: Sammy, I- l'm sorry. It's just that you caught me by surprise.
Sam: Yeah, well, imagine how it caught me when, on the morning of August 12, 1989, I looked in the sink and... I'm sorry, I thought I could talk about it.