Sam: Well, this must be pretty thrilling for you. Did you see me pitch at Fenway?
Bert: No.
Sam: Uh, caught me on the tube then, huh?
Bert: Not really. Actually, I've never heard of you. But to tell the truth, I wouldn't know a baseball from a meatball.
Woody: Boy, catch me having spaghetti at his house.
Sam: Well, why don't you just let me sign that thing for you, and you can get the hell out of here.
Bert: Oh, I have no interest in that. I thought you might like it back.
Carla: Why did you buy it if you didn't want it?
Bert: Oh, frankly, it was getting on my nerves. I mean, the thing kept coming back. Finally I said to myself, "It's for a worthy cause. Put the damn thing out of its misery."