Sam: All right. Where were you last night, hmm?
Diane: I was taking full advantage of my 24 hours. I looked into the recesses of my heart, and I realized that I still had one oat that needed to be sown. One fantastic oat.
Sam: Is that all you think about, sex? You know, it's disgusting! Wh- Wh- Whatever happened to romance, to commitment? I mean, look at you! Look at you! You haven't even changed your dress!
Diane: I am wearing this dress again because I like it. It sets off my eyes.
Sam: Yeah, I'll set off your eyes. You know... You want know something? I had the exact same 24 hours you did, and I didn't do anything. You know why? Because I happen to be a one-woman guy. I mean... I mean, I think we got something special going here, and I didn't want to cheapen it, like somebody else I could mention. You- You know, people could refer to you as a tart.
Diane: How can you say that?
Sam: Easy. Tart! Tart, tart, tart, tart!
Sam: I mean, what- What else do you call somebody who didn't go home?
Diane: How do you know that?
Sam: Because I was idiot enough to spend the entire night watching your apartment from my car, and you did not go home.