Coach: Ladies and gentlemen, Sam Malone is now a high school graduate.
Diane: Yes. [applause] Congratulations.
Sam: For what?
Diane: You passed.
Sam: Yeah, a D as in dumb.
Diane: A D as in diploma. An honest D is better than a tainted A.
Sam: Boy, I tell you, I may have my diploma, but I sure feel dumber than ever. I studied myself hoarse for that exam and still I got a D.
Diane: Oh, Sam, you only had one night to study.
Sam: Ah, it wouldn't make any difference. My brain doesn't work like yours does. I can't learn things.