Lenny: Hi. Is Sam Malone here?
Coach: No, he isn't. What can I buy from you? What am I saying? What can I get you?
Lenny: Well, I'll have a beer. Say, my name is Lenny Barnes. I'm the publicist for the Chamber of Commerce charity softball game this Saturday. I'm looking for Sam Malone.
Coach: No, I can tell you right now, Lenny. He wouldn't be interested in that kind of thing. I mean, nobody with any dignity wants to get into those sideshow carnival things, where everybody's made to look stupid. Nobody.
Lenny: Hey, aren't you Ernie Pantusso?
Coach: I'd be honored to do it.
Lenny: Well, I don't think we need anybody else.
Coach: Oh, well. I find it hard to get up to Fenway these days.
Lenny: Yeah, the old memories come back?
Coach: No, I keep getting the wrong bus. I must have an old schedule.
Lenny: Wow, I guess those stories about you are true.
Coach: That they are, Lenny. That they are.