Sam: You know, Diane's right. I'm gonna embarrass her.
Cliff: Sammy, believe it or not, I think I have a simple solution to all this. Look, he's a literature professor, right?
Sam: Yeah, right.
Cliff: War And Peace is the greatest novel. You read it between now and Saturday, right? Drop in a few comments over dinner. You're off to the races.
Sam: "War And Peace"? This is a good book?
Cliff: Oh, yeah. They say the first 800 pages are a bit slow but it shoots off after that.
Sam: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a second. What are talking about? I've got five days. How long is this book?
Cliff: Well, I've delivered a few for the book clubs and it's about three-and-a-half pounds paperback.
Coach: Forget it, Sam. Nobody can read four ounces a day.