Diane: There's something extraordinary on TV.
Cliff: What's up. Is there a game on?
Coach: What is it, the Bruins?
Norm: I think the lady singing the anthem is loaded.
Coach: Diane, what the hell is this?
Diane: Wagner's "Ring of the Nibelungs", the complete cycle. "Das Rheingold", "Die Walkure", "Siegfried" and finally "Gotterdammerung".
Coach: Gee, I hope they don't use that canned laughter.
Diane: Oh, Coach, it's not comedy. This is opera. I'll explain as we proceed. Now, this is the story of a golden ring with magical powers that curses anyone who owns it.
Norm: Hey, hey, wait. They had that same story on Scooby Doo Saturday morning.
Cliff: Yeah, but the dog sang a little better than that.
Diane: Come on, you guys. Now give it a chance. The first three hours are... [guys groan] Hey, hey, hey. I put up with your sporting events. It's time that you return the favor. After ten minutes, if you aren't totally mesmerized by its beauty, I will turn it off.
Paul: Ten minutes? [all pretend to snore]
Diane: Very funny. Culture's wasted on you. Oxygen is wasted on you.