Shawn: Nobody saw us. No witnesses. And without witnesses, it's all just circumcized evidence.

Shawn: I don't want to die before I know what woo is.

Cory: Shawn, we just helped Frankie snake Harley's girlfriend. I mean, we gave him love lessons, we hid in the locker, we told him what to say. How is that not trouble?
Shawn: OK, let me think. Uh, protective custody, plastic surgery Ah! We dress up as girls, pretend we're our out-of-town cousins and say we haven't seen ourselves.
Cory: No, that'll never work.
Shawn: Oh, yeah? Tell my Uncle Mary.