Shawn: Let's meet our next contestant. You are...
Jasmine: My name is Jasmine Fontana.
Shawn: If it isn't, it should be.

Cory: Like you can talk to Feeny. He doesn't think straight, Mr. Turner. He doesn't even believe in the constitution.
Shawn: Yeah, he totally ignores the first commandment.

Shawn: He says one thing and then he does another. He's being a hypochondriac.

Cory: Maybe if we became radio personalities, then we'd have personalities.

Cory: I've got a radio voice.
Shawn: And I've got a radio face.

Mr. Feeny: Oh, I think you're much more stupid than you give yourselves credit for.

Mr. Feeny: Mr. Matthews, the rights of the constitution were intended for those with a sense of responsibility.
Shawn: Well if it doesn't apply to us, then why do we have to learn it?

Mr. Turner: Hippy? George, my Aunt Ruthie was a hippy.
Mr. Feeny: Yes, and my papa was a rolling stone.

Shawn: Don't move. Maybe he doesn't see us.