Tobias Quote #279
Quote from Tobias in Courting Disasters
Dusty: So, you're saying Buster was performing as the rock monster when the murder allegedly took place?
Is that true, Buster?
Buster: That's what I told you. He asked me to that night.
Dusty: And you'll confirm that on the stand?
Tobias: [English accent] I will. And perhaps I'll do it in an English accent! [normal voice] Nay, nay, I shan't. I shall stick to the script. Not script. Nope. Vérité. I have taken the note vérité. Yes, yes. Great. Now, I do wish I could do this gratis, but I'm having a bit of a shelter crisis of late. And I hate to play hardball-
Dusty: I don't think that they pay witnesses.
Tobias: Hmm... Uh, unrelated, what happens to this room when you leave?
Dusty: Yeah, I think they lock it up at night.
Tobias: Damn it. Damn it, damn it, damn it. Damn it! I just [sniffles, voice breaking] need somewhere to s- All right, well, gentlemen, thank you so much for your time. And I will be seeing you.
Arrested Development Quotes
‘Courting Disasters’ Quotes
Quote from Lucille
Lottie Dottie: I call to the witness stand Gene Parmesan.
Judge Stanley: Gene Parmesan. Gene Parmesan? Doesn't seem like he's here.
Lottie Dottie: That's impossible. He's a private detective. He'd never be late.
Gene Parmesan: Well, has anyone checked under the new bailiff? [removes fake beard] Gene Parmesan.
Lucille: [shrieks] Gene!
Gene Parmesan: And I swear to tell the truth, so help me God.
Lucille: That never gets old!
Gene Parmesan: I'll tell you something else that never gets old. Whoops. I'm under oath.
Quote from Tobias
George Michael: Gosh, I don't really know if we need any acting right now. The stuff we're doing here, it's more about preventing hacking, protecting privacy, and stuff like that.
Murphybrown: Oh, that's kind of what I was trying to stop, too.
Tobias: Yes, Murphybrown here is a bit of a computer whiz. [chuckles] He's worked on cable boxes.
Murphybrown: Yeah, I actually coded, like an extra layer beneath the firewall to keep your data from being exposed. It's like a dam or, like, a a stopper, or a barrier to stop people from...
George Michael: Like a block?
Tobias: Okay. Can we do this in English, Professor?
Murphybrown: Oh, s-sorry, sorry, my Sorry, my fine student. [troupe laughs]
Debrie: I need a diagram.
Tobias: It makes no sense at all. But what he's basically saying is, nobody wants to be naked underneath their underwear. So, one adds an extra layer of protection. It doesn't have to be denim, per se, but everybody wants to hide their privates from something.
Quote from Lucille
Dusty: Do you want me to take it easy on him? Or give it to him hard? I know he's a friend of yours.
Lucille: [scoffs] He's not my friend anymore. Testifying against our family after all the times I faked being surprised by him?
Narrator: So Dusty went after the witness's credibility.
Dusty: Mr. Parmesan, you say you're a master of disguises. How many looks are you capable of creating?
Judge Stanley: You asking me? I'm the judge.
Gene Parmesan: I'm Gene Parmesan.
Lucille: [shrieks]