Maeby Quote #171

Quote from Maeby in Senoritis

Maeby: Of course, when Fakeblock hits, we're going to have to ramp up real fast. This hangar can hold over 500 nerds!
George Michael: Maeby, we can't afford this. And my software isn't even ready.
Maeby: Don't worry about that. Just worry about the app being done in time for the big public unveiling at Cinco. I'll get the money.
George Michael: Isn't that in, like, three days?
Maeby: No, that's Cinco de Mayo. Cinco de Cuatro is in two days. But we'll be doing it on a boat, so I hope you don't get seasick. You're doing the keynote. You're responsible for all of this.
George Michael: Come on. What- No, I... I think we...
Maeby: All of this.
George Michael: I think we should delay the keynote.
Maeby: You know, I'd say yes, but I don't think we can just because of the sheer amount of money that you have on the hook for it.
George Michael: Maeby, you're fired!

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 ‘Senoritis’ Quotes

Quote from Barry Zuckerkorn

Barry: Maeby, you scared the [bleep] out of me.
Maeby: What are you doing here?
Barry: Well, I could ask you the same thing.
Maeby: I go to high school here.
Barry: I could answer the same thing. I was just looking for something more believable.
Maeby: Speaking of believable, I was going to ask you a question about that. Um, can somebody get kicked out of high school if they're too old? I think I was made at a bar.
Barry: I know this part of the law very, very well. After 21, it is illegal for you to enroll in high school in the state of California. As a matter of fact, you cannot even lurk. [scoffs] "Lurk." What, do they got cameras in the bushes? Why would they do that? You can't even see into the locker rooms from there.
Maeby: Okay, so what do I do? Because the guy who caught me goes to school with me.
Barry: Oh, well, that's easy. You get something incriminating on him. Call me in the office, we'll discuss it, and then I can also keep a record, you know, for billing and so forth.
Maeby: Yeah, well, maybe I'll just keep a record of it, too, so I can follow up with my own bill.
Barry: [chuckles] Very good. You should be the lawyer. Very good. Pro bono.

Quote from Maeby

Narrator: And that's how Lindsay ended up receiving this spiritual advice.
Maeby: You are so full of [bleep].
Lindsay: Yeah, yeah.
Maeby: Pull your head out of the sand. Love is where you left it.
Lindsay: The only person back home is Tobias.
Maeby: You have no children?
Lindsay: No. Why do you ask? Well, yes, a daughter. She's away at boarding school in England.
Maeby: Is that where we left it?
Narrator: Although you'd think this would have given her away.
Lindsay: Hug?
Maeby: Please don't squeeze the shaman.

Quote from Maeby

Narrator: And soon, she was pimping out George Michael's software company as well.
Maeby: Fakeblock, it's exploding. I got my PR company fanning it. I even got it to the attention of Jim Cramer.
George Michael: Jim Cramer?
Maeby: He's a guy I've worked with, and he even mentioned it on Mad Money.
[clip from Mad Money:]
Jim Cramer: This Fakeblock thing is poised to explode! I never do this. Hell, it's not even a stock yet. For all I know, it's not even real! But I think this might be going through the roof! I'm calling it my first hypothetical buy. And this weekend, don't forget to catch me on Gangie IV. Here's a taste. This old lady's crazy! I'm raising the alert level from "Don't Leave the House " to "Board Up Your Windows!"