Lucille Quote #233
Quote from Lucille in Queen B.
Lucille: That suit looks very hetero on you.
Tobias: Well, thank you. You look very hetero as well. Now, how are you?
Lucille: I'm as normal as blueberry pie. So write that down on a form, sign me out, I won't have to go back to prison, and maybe you'll find a new car parked in your driveway. [winks]
Tobias: Eh. Yes, well, it doesn't work that way. We have to have a series of sessions, and I have to swear in the best of my professional opinion that you have accepted and made every effort at thoughtfully reflecting upon your weaknesses.
Lucille: Yes! Write down that I did that.
Tobias: Well, no, I don't work that way.
Lucille: You don't work anyway. This is your first paying job in 10 years.
Tobias: Oh, no, no, this doesn't pay. This is part of a work release program. The state of California thinks that I'm a sex offender. Don't worry about what the state of California thinks. The point is we have a chance to be honest with ourselves.
Lucille: Fine. You don't look heterosexual in that suit. You look as swishy as Ryan Seacrest.
Tobias: Ryan Seacrest is straight.
Lucille: And I'm 40! Sign the form.
Arrested Development Quotes
‘Queen B.’ Quotes
Quote from Lucille
Narrator: And so it was Lucille who did the questioning of her new star witness, Lucille 2
Lucille: Thank you so much for coming to be my witness. You're such a large shareholder... Oh. I've made a pun.
Lucille Austero: Oh, how could I not do it for my oldest friend? Oh! Now I've gone and done a double.
Lucille: [laughs] A double. Like your pre-surgery chin.
Lucille Austero: Or your post- breakfast drink. Oh, I wish you'd come to my rehab clinic. But anything to help that Keystone Cop family of yours.
Lucille: Keystone Cops? Your references are as fresh as the wallpaper in the room of that pretend child you've had all these years. But, my friend...
Lucille Austero: You're right, I shouldn't joke. None of your family showed up, you poor thing. This is such a black mark on all of you.
Lucille: You should know about black marks. Your pillow must look like a Rorschach Test. Not that there'd be anyone to see it. So, as I was saying...
Quote from Lucille
Lucille: If I were you, I'd put a tail on him. Get a P.I.
Michael: Where the hell am I gonna find a P.I.?
Gene Parmesan: Gene Parmesan, at your service.
[The bearded, middled-aged White man wearing a baseball cab and standing between Lucille and Michael removes "GARY" from his name tag to reveal "GENE"]
Lucille: [screams] It's Gene! He does this to me every time!
Michael: What's he doing here, Mom?
Lucille: Oh, he's working for me.
Michael: Why'd you scream then?
Lucille: I thought he was that guy. [points to a Black man]
Quote from Lucille Austero
Narrator: But unfortunately, their 30 year passive-aggressive dance was losing some of its passive.
Lucille: As if everybody in this room couldn't tell how jealous and conniving you are, my dear Lucille Austero.
Lucille Austero: What I knew was that you were stealing for years. We all did! That's why nobody was surprised when you stole that boat.
Lucille: And I knew you couldn't wait to get your liver-spotted claws into my company!
Lucille Austero: Says the woman whose liver can be spotted from outer space!
Lucille: No further questions!
Lucille Austero: No further answers! Am I done?