Gob: Thanks for that killer intro. It's true, this is a magical trick. If what Jesus did was a trick. [audience groan] I say it wasn't. [audience applaud] It was an illusion. [audience gasp]
Tobias: Ooh! They did not like that one.
Gob: I don't take notes from you, Centurion Number Two. Just turn this thing around. I am not the real Jesus. I am the Amazing Jesus! [silence] No? I thought that that would be up your... alley. Yes, the real Jesus came off the cross and went into his cave a dead man. And Gob's escape boulder was wheeled up to the trick.
But was he crazy enough to do it handcuffed?
Tobias: Handcuff the King of the Jews!
Gob: You don't have words here- Pastor Veal, if you don't mind, please go up into the cave and assure everyone that there's no way to escape. No trapdoors, no secret compartments, no way to get out. Pastor Veal, let me remind you that you are in a church in front of your daughter, your congregation, God. You cannot tell a lie. Right, nothing out of the ordinary?
Pastor Veal: No, I didn't see anything.
Gob: Yes. Jesus went into the cave, and he arose three days later. But I'm not going to lock myself in a cave for three days before this wedding ceremony. No, no. No, no, no. I plan on beating his record by two full weeks! [dramatic music plays]
Tobias: Into the cave with you!
Gob: No, I said don't underline the "you" in that.
Narrator: Unfortunately, Gob was not able to open the secret compartment that contained the handcuff key.
Gob: It's not going to work. Okay, this isn't going to work. Let's do mouse in drink. Just get these people some drinks. We'll just get a mouse. No, no, no. No, no, no, you know not what you do!
Narrator: But it very clearly said in the centurions' script to ignore the magician's protests, which meant that, still handcuffed...
Gob: But if my hands are handcuffed, I'll never...
Narrator: Gob was unable to break his fall and was therefore knocked unconscious. And as the Gob dummy was sealed inside the cave, the real Gob's fate was sealed, as well.
Pastor Veal: Well, I guess we'll wait two weeks and see if he's in there. Is that okay with you, Ann?
Ann: He's not coming back.