TV Quotes

Narrator: And back at the penthouse, Lucille was praying for the second time in her life.
Lucille: Lord, let Buster forget everything. And if you need to take another hand to make that happen, please make it Gob's.

Lucille: How's my son?
Doctor: He's going to be all right.
Oscar: Oh, thank God.
Lindsay: Finally some good news from this guy.
George Michael: No other way to take that.
Doctor: That's a great attitude. I gotta tell you, if I was given this news, I don't know that I'd take it this well.
Lucille: But you said he was all right.
Doctor: Yes. He's lost his left hand, so he's going to be "all right."
Lucille: You son of a bitch! I hate this doctor!
Michael: He's a very literal man.
Doctor: Yes, that's more the way I would take the news.

George Michael: Oh, no, it's my Dad. I'm supposed to be at work.
Maeby: You know, George Michael, you worry too much. It's Sunday. You're allowed to have a couple of hours off. You don't see me nervous about being on my third Virgin Mary.
George Michael: Why would you be nervous? There's no alcohol in a Virgin Mary.
Maeby: There isn't? This is unbelievable. Can I get a virgin pina colada when you get a chance? Now we'll get things started.

Maeby: Look. Here's my advice. Okay? You go to Rebel's, you take my bag of lacy ticklers, hoo-ha bras, dog toys, and sex knobs with you. And you act like you're expecting a booty call, as the old people think the young people say. All right? You tell her, "I'm just here for a quickie, and I'm out of here." Mr. Brash. And she'll drop you like a buttered cane.
George Michael: Is that something old people say?
Maeby: Yeah. I'm trying to get it going.
George Michael: That's cool.