George Sr. Quote #212

Quote from George Sr. in Unexpected Company

Narrator: But Oscar wasn't the only twin that was down, because as Michael headed out to keep the company alive he realized he'd need to do the same for its founder.
Michael: What are you doing with the hose?
George Sr.: Wha- No, I didn't know it was on. I mean, I would never purposefully run a car with the garage door closed with the family in crisis.
Michael: Okay. You know, Dad, this is an electric car.
George Sr.: Oh.
Michael: So, the only thing you're killing is my battery.
George Sr.: Is that funny? I... Oh, God, I can't get anything right.

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 ‘Unexpected Company’ Quotes

Quote from George Sr.

Lucille: I'm busy, George. What do you want?
George Sr.: I want you, Lucille.
Lucille: In what way, George? Sexually?
George Sr.: Yes. Sexual-ish-ly.

Quote from Tobias

Gob: Why wouldn't he come out?
Tobias: Oh, who knows what makes a guy think he can pass for straight? I mean, if he really is gay, he can try to hide it, but trust me, it will come out in the most unexpected balls.
Gob: Yeah, but the problem is that now the world thinks that I'm gay, and if I say it was a trick, well, then the alliance will have me by the balls.
Tobias: Uh... [laughs] Excuse me, "balls"? You realize you just said "balls"? [chuckles]
Gob: But you said balls.
Tobias: [chuckling] Oh, well that's three times I'm hearing balls now.

Quote from Maeby

Maeby: Well, problem solved. Stick her with all of it. Let her buy it. She'll get all our liabilities, and then anything over two million, we get to keep.
George Michael: I can't do that to someone that I have feelings for.
Maeby: So stop having feelings for her.
George Michael: What? Is that something you can do with people?
Maeby: Yeah, once I learned how to do it with my parents, it was easy with everyone else. It's like a heart switch, you know? Click. I love you. Click. I love you not. Click. I love you. Click. I love you not. Can't you do that?
George Michael: No, but in my defense, I'm not a sociopath.
Maeby: [dramatic music plays] Click.