Ava Quote #2
Ms. Schwartz: There you are. Ava, can I talk to you? Uh, I need an aide. I'm outnumbered in there. The kids are crazy. One of them told me to mind my six this morning. I don't know what that means, and I need help.
Ava: Calm down. They're just kids. And, besides, aides cost money, and we don't have that.
Ms. Schwartz: Right, but I just...
Ava: Do you want to split your salary with somebody else?
Ms. Schwartz: No.
Ava: No, no. I didn't think so.
Janine: Well, if we can't get aides, maybe we can get new rugs?
Ava: All I'm hearing is, "New, new, new, need, need, need." And, yet, Barb, one of our best and most senior teachers here, she never complains. What is your secret, Barb?
Barbara: Knowing there's not much you can do, Ava.
Ava: So understanding. Be like Ms. Howard, people. [chuckles]
Abbott Elementary Quotes
‘Pilot’ Quotes
Quote from Melissa
[aside to camera:]
Melissa: Uh... Melissa. Schemmenti. Second-grade teacher.
[in class room:]
Melissa: What's half of 100?
Children: 50.
Melissa: Also, $100, known as a C-note.
[aside to camera:]
Melissa: You Sicilian? Italian? You from South? Okay, you guys working with the cops? 'Cause you gotta tell me.
Quote from Melissa
Janine: Hey, it's not impossible to get things. Melissa asked for those new toy cash registers for her classroom and got them.
Melissa: Yeah, those aren't toys. I know a guy who worked a Walmart demolition. I got a guy for everything. I know a guy right now working the stadium build. Need rebar?
Janine: No.
Quote from Barbara
Barbara: Janine. Turn that down, please! I'm trying to teach my kindergartners the letter "C," and they are distracted by this song. It's like "Back That Azz Up" for kids.
Janine: Hey, guys, um, could you sit down, please? [music continues] Guys, I'm gonna count to 3. 1... 2...
Barbara: And I am not counting. Sit down! [music stops]
[aside to camera:]
Barbara: I'm Barbara Howard, woman of God. I do my work, I go home. I get my nails done every week. And... I love teaching.