Gregory Quote #52
Janine: [screams] Random man! Child pants! Security!
Gregory: Oh, no! No, no, no, no, no! I'm... I'm Gregory, the, uh... the sub for Ms. Schwartz.
Janine: Okay. Oh.
Gregory: Yeah.
Janine: But that's still not explaining the pants. Security!
Gregory: Hold on. Hold on. Wait, wait, wait. Okay, one of my kids had to go to the bathroom, so I brought him, but then he accidentally went on himself.
Janine: Oh! Okay.
Gregory: And I tried to flush the toilet, and the water shot back up in the air. And then I'm...
Janine: Oh, God. No one told you about Reversy Toilet then? Okay.
Gregory: No. Why is that even a thing?
Abbott Elementary Quotes
‘Pilot’ Quotes
Quote from Melissa
[aside to camera:]
Melissa: Uh... Melissa. Schemmenti. Second-grade teacher.
[in class room:]
Melissa: What's half of 100?
Children: 50.
Melissa: Also, $100, known as a C-note.
[aside to camera:]
Melissa: You Sicilian? Italian? You from South? Okay, you guys working with the cops? 'Cause you gotta tell me.
Quote from Melissa
Janine: Hey, it's not impossible to get things. Melissa asked for those new toy cash registers for her classroom and got them.
Melissa: Yeah, those aren't toys. I know a guy who worked a Walmart demolition. I got a guy for everything. I know a guy right now working the stadium build. Need rebar?
Janine: No.
Quote from Barbara
Barbara: Janine. Turn that down, please! I'm trying to teach my kindergartners the letter "C," and they are distracted by this song. It's like "Back That Azz Up" for kids.
Janine: Hey, guys, um, could you sit down, please? [music continues] Guys, I'm gonna count to 3. 1... 2...
Barbara: And I am not counting. Sit down! [music stops]
[aside to camera:]
Barbara: I'm Barbara Howard, woman of God. I do my work, I go home. I get my nails done every week. And... I love teaching.