TV Quotes

Dick: Hey. What are you doing lollygagging about?
Tommy: Lollygagger.
Dick: You. Get off the phone.
Tommy: See me in my office.
Dick: Get him an office. Hey, I notice you're all drinking from separate cups. One cup per group.
Tommy: We're trying to run a business here.
Dick: Not a water-drinking factory.
Tommy: What is with all the computers in here?
Dick: Hasn't anybody heard of an abacus?!

Dick: All right, Tommy. We were lucky enough to land on earth in the middle of the biggest bull market in history, so it's time that we took advantage of it.
Tommy: And you expect to make enough money in the stock market to take Albright to Cancun.
Dick: Yeah. But if we'd found out about the stock market when we first landed here, we would own freakin' Cancun.
Tommy: Excuse me. I read all about it right after we landed.
Dick: Well, why didn't you say anything?
Tommy: Dick, I was thirteen-years-old, I wasn't obsessed with money. I was obsessed with boobs.
Dick: Well, why haven't you said anything since?
Tommy: Again, boobs.

Strudwick: You know, it's funny. I used to bring these creamers home to Alissa. She'd have little tea parties with her stuffed animals. They grow up quick, don't they?
Dick: Yeah. I can remember when Tommy didn't even know how to wipe his own butt. Then he figured it out all on his own. And taught me.

Mary: For future reference, I have a red Volvo.
Dick: [gasps] Please, Dr. Albright! We barely know each other.