Dick Quote #1093
Dick: Oh, my God. Art, science, philosophy. This is beautiful.
Sally: What are you talking about, Dick?
Dick: I... I'm on-line! Do you know what they call this? The world wide web. The entire planet is at my fingertips.
Sally: Hmm, good for you.
Dick: Good for all of us. We've spent all this time trying to get closer to humanity, and now we have instant access to every culture on earth! Except the French. Ah! There they are!
Sally: Lucky us.
Dick: [singing French national anthem]
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Quote from Dick
Dick: Sally, I've made such a mistake. I thought all this technology would help me wrap my arms around humankind. But I was wrong. All it gave me was a raging case of carpal tunnel syndrome.
Tommy: So what about being connected to the world wide web?
Dick: I wasn't connected to anything. I was separated. And that's not what we came to this planet for. That's what technology does. Technology is evil!
Tommy: Dick, just because you went nuts, that doesn't mean that all technology is evil.
Dick: Of course it does.
Sally: What about, uh... medical technology?
Dick: Medical technology is okay.
Tommy: Okay, uh, what about the computers that make sure airplanes don't crash?
Dick: Those I like. But that's it.
Harry: Well, what about the machine that puts the creamy filling in the cupcakes?
Dick: Harry, no! I've already drawn the line. Oh... who am I kidding? I'm not gonna manually inject cream into my own cupcakes.
Quote from Dick
[Dick's students watch a live stream of Dick on the "Planet Solomon" website:]
Dick: And so you see, that by utilizing a viscous barrier, we minimize bonding between any two substances. Now, you understand friction, and I have a nice omelet. Any questions?
Bug: Um... why are you on a computer?
Dick: My actual presence is no longer necessary in the learning process. This is my new live webcam at www.PlanetSolomon.com. It's on me 24 hours a day. Now, anybody can log on. You can watch me do almost everything. And, uh, for a small fee... everything.
Quote from Sally
Sally: Okay, you guys. Check it out. Four-head VHS, auto-tracking deliciousness.
Tommy: 525 lines of resolution.
Sally: Ooh, yeah! However, it says here that this VCR only has 250 lines.
Tommy: What are you saying?
Sally: Nothing.
Tommy: A- Are you saying that these colors could be more vibrant?
Alissa: This looks good to me.
Sally: I am saying, Tommy, that if we went digital, we'd get the most out of our bitchin' TV.
Tommy: So it would really be a waste of money not to.
Alissa: This really looks fine.
Sally: It's horrible!
Tommy: Pack it up. This piece of crap's going back.