Sally: [v.o.] I'd barely laid eyes on him, and yet I was already enveloped by the hot flash of his manly presence.
Don: Sally! What are you doing here? You're not supposed to be here.
Sally: I know. It's forbidden, like our love.
Don: Wait. You didn't come here to watch me do my business, did you?
Sally: Hush, Don. I'll answer your questions, all of them, but not here. Not now.
Don: Well, then when, Sally?
Sally: When the crescent moon slices through the clouds like a saber through the strings of a bodice.
Don: Help me out. Is that Tuesday? Friday?
Sally: Don, I beg of you, I must go now. Everything you need to know is in here. Be patient, my love. The wait is almost over.

Sally: I don't understand. I mean, Don and I have such a great time together. Just last night we staked out the laundromat for six hours. Oh, the guy with the slugs is back.
Dick: Oh. That sounds so nice. But I think you may be missing an essential part of the human experience.
Sally: What?
Dick: Romance.
Sally: Romance?
Dick: Don't worry. Everything you need to know about it can be found in the writings of the world's greatest authority on the subject.
Sally: The Gates of Windemere by Frank Shakespeare. The Frank Shakespeare?!
Dick: The Frank Shakespeare.
Sally: Oh! Thank you, Dick. Thank you!

Sally: [v.o.] The cool air embraced the trees like a desperate lover. A more perfect night I couldn't have hoped for. And then, he appeared out of nowhere, breathless in anticipation.
Don: [panting] Sally, why do we have to meet all the way up here? I'm a cop, not a goat.
Sally: [v.o.] His chiseled features mocked me with their perfection. Oh, where had I ever found the strength to resist him for this long?
Don: Have you got a handkerchief? I'm sweatin' like a pig.
Sally: I can't stand it any longer! Kiss me, Don. Kiss me like you've always wanted but never could. Now, Don, now!
Don: Oh, mama! [they kiss]