Tommy: She used you as a thighmaster, huh?
Harry: No. Janice was as gentle as a lamb. No. I was walking home, and Dick jumped off the roof onto my head.
Dick: I didn't jump. I was pushed.
Sally: You were pushed? So Albright was that pissed at you, huh?
Dick: But she only pushed me the first time.
Tommy: You asked for it. You fired me.
Dick: I was cutting costs.
Tommy: I was doing all the work.
Dick: You were slacking off.
Tommy: I hate you!
Dick: I was being a responsible stockholder!