Pitman: Okay. Places, people, and... action.
Mary: [tony British accent] Hello, I'm Dr. Mary Albright, and I'm proud to be a member of the Pendelton faculty.
Dick: Well said, Mary. I'm proud, too. I'm Dr. Dick Solomon, professor of physics here at Pendelton.
Mary: We're here to talk about our fine university.
Dick: And a fine university it is, Mary. It's fine. It's not great, but it's not the worst.
Mary: At Pendelton, our students come first.
Dick: Our priority is to get you out of your parents' home and into a classroom-like environment. 'A's are easy to come by here at Pendelton, as is delicious thin-crust pizza.
Mary: Our lab facilities are state-of-the-art.
Dick: Or at least they used to be, Mary. [both lightly chuckle] But let's be realistic. If you got into a quality school, you would only feel stupid there. But you can be a genius here at Pendelton - the Harvard of mediocrity. Not affiliated with Harvard University.