Lawyer: Sir, have you ever been in an automobile collision?
Dick: Uh, no. But I am a college physics professor, so no matter how sophisticated the analysis gets, uh, I'll follow it.
Lawyer: Thank you. You're excused.
Dick: Excused to prepare for the case?
Judge: No, excused to go sit in the lobby and wait for the next case.
Dick: Excuse me?
Judge: You're excused.
Dick: But I'm a professor. That guy doesn't even have any teeth!