Don: Nah, it's fake.
Tommy: How do you know?
Don: Well, the laminate is peeling from the cardboard, and I used to date your sister. Come on, Tommy.
Tommy: I am not Tommy. My name is Anatoly. I'm from the U.S. territory of Guam.
Don: Okay. Then where exactly is Guam located?
Tommy: The kidney-shaped island of Guam is located at 13 degrees north latitude, 144 degrees longitude. Its official bird is the Toto, also known as the fruit darter-
Don: All right, nobody knows that much about Guam. [to Tommy's high school friends Elman and Romano] Oh, Mr. Chubais. Mr. Chubais. I saved you a table. Thank you. Now, they're Guamish.