The Office - Michael Scott Quote #989
Oscar: This is a lot of credit card debt.
Michael Scott: Yeah, tell about it. You know, Jan has my credit cards and she's using 'em as if I'm made of money. She thinks I'm a human ATM machine.
Oscar: Okay. $125, Amazon.
Michael Scott: Oh, Best of the Muppet Show on DVD. Classic.
Oscar: $1200. What's a "Core-Blaster Extreme"?
Michael Scott: That is by far, the best way to strengthen your core. This machine- You sit on a stabilizer ball. You put your feet into the power stirrups, you reach up and you grab onto the super rod. And you twist and you twist and you twist. It strengthens your entire core. Your back core, your arm core, your- The Marine Corps actually uses it. I think that's how they got "corps."
Quote from Michael Scott
Oscar: Hey, I just wanted you to know that you can't just say the word "bankruptcy" and expect anything to happen.
Michael Scott: I didn't say it, I declared it.
Oscar: Still- That's- That's not anything.
Quote from Stanley
Michael Scott: [on the phone] Yes, is Mr. Hudson there?
Stanley: Yeah, who is this?
Michael Scott: Well I'm just calling because you responded positively to-
Michael Scott: Stanley?
Stanley: Why are you calling me here at home?
Michael Scott: [in a Mexican accent] Señor, are you happy with your long distance, sir?
Stanley: Michael, I know that's you. Why are you calling me here at home?
Michael Scott: [different voice] Have you con- Have you considered satellite television?
Stanley: Michael, I know that's you. I know your voice.
Michael Scott: All right.
Stanley: Why are you calling me here at home? When I'm at home at night in my own house in my sweats, drinking some red wine, watching my mystery stories, the last thing in the whole godforsaken world I want to hear is the voice of Michael Scott.
Quote from Nepotism
Michael Scott: I suppose summer had to end sometime. It's sad, though, because I had a great summer. I got West Nile virus, lost a ton of weight. Then I went back to the lake. I stepped on a piece of glass in the parking lot, which hurt. That got infected even though I peed on it. Saw Inception. Or at least I dreamt I did.
Quote from Safety Training
Michael Scott: My life! Oh, my life!
Dwight K. Schrute: [through a megaphone] Michael, what's wrong?
Michael Scott: Everything's wrong. The stress of my modern office has caused me to go into a depression!
Dwight K. Schrute: Depression? Isn't that just a fancy word for feeling bummed out?
Michael Scott: Dwight, you ignorant slut. Depression is a very serious illness. Over 32,000 people commit suicide every year according to a 2004 study.
Dwight K. Schrute: Is that the last year the data was available?
Michael Scott: Yes. My head is in such pain and turmoil.
Quote from Gossip
Michael Scott: How do you un-tell something? You can't. You can't put words back in your mouth. What you can do is spread false gossip so that people think that everything that's been said is untrue, including "Stanley is having an affair." It's like the end of Spartacus. I've seen that movie half a dozen times, and I still don't know who the real Spartacus is, and that is what makes that movie a classic whodunit.