Michael Scott Quote #48
Quote from Michael Scott in Health Care
Jan: So, which health plan have you decided on?
Michael Scott: I am going to go with the best, Jan. I am going to go with the one with the acupuncture, therapeutic massage, the works.
Jan: Wait. Acupuncture? None of the plans have acupuncture. Have you looked at them closely, Michael?
Michael Scott: Oh, I think it was you who didn't look closely enough at the Gold Plan.
Jan: The Gold Plan? I'm not even on that plan.
Michael Scott: Well, I'd recommend it. It's very good.
The Office Quotes
‘Health Care’ Quotes
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Dwight K. Schrute: What did I do? I did my job. I slashed benefits to the bone. I saved this company money. Was I too harsh? Maybe. I don't believe in coddling people. In the wild, there is no health care. In the wild, health care is, "Ow, I hurt my leg. I can't run. A lion eats me and I'm dead." Well, I'm not dead. I'm the lion. You're dead.
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute
Jim: Well, why did you do that? You work here. Don't you want good insurance?
Dwight K. Schrute: Don't need it. Never been sick. Perfect immune system.
Jim: Okay, well, if you've never been sick, then you don't have any antibodies.
Dwight K. Schrute: I don't need them. Superior genes. I'm a Schrute. And superior brainpower. Through concentration, I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will.
Pam: Why would you raise your cholesterol?
Dwight K. Schrute: So I can lower it.
Quote from Pam
Jim: Wait. What are you writing? Don't write Ebola or mad cow disease. All right? 'cause I'm suffering from both.
Pam: I'm inventing new diseases.
Jim: Oh, great.
Pam: So, like, let's say my teeth turn to liquid and then they drip down the back of my throat. What would you call that?
Jim: I thought you said you were inventing diseases. That's spontaneous dental hydroplosion.
Pam: Nice.
Jim: Thank you.