Kevin: Hey, your life is so insane. You should write a book.
Todd: Since when did you learn how to read?
Kevin: I do know how to read, though.
Todd: Yeah. You know how to read... a menu!
Kevin: [nervous chuckling] ... He's right. I mean, I could lose some weight.
Dwight K. Schrute: Kevin, in sumo culture, you'd be considered a promising up and comer.