Pam: Hey, Jim. Stanley's back from the hospital today. Can you sign his card?
Jim: Oh, great. [reads] "Glad they didn't mix up your tonsillectomy with a mustachectomy." Oh, that's not good.
Phyllis: Oh, because your jokes are all hilarious.
Pam: It's nice. It's funny. It mentions his tonsillectomy and makes a funny little joke about his mustache.
Jim: Stanley doesn't have a mustache.
Pam: Yeah, he does.
Oscar: Pam, hit the brakes. Stanley does not have a mustache. I misspoke. I'm not sure. I think he has one, now that- I think he has a mustache.
Pam: Okay, Phyllis sits across from him every day. Phyllis, does he have a mustache or not?
Phyllis: Oh, I don't know. Um, now I think he doesn't.
Pam: Phyllis! What are you talking- The whole card depends on this!
Jim: Okay, the man's worked here for 25 years. How can none of us picture his face?
Angela: 'Cause we come here to do our jobs. We don't stick our noses in other people's business.
Pam: Okay, which one of these looks more right? [holds up drawing of Stanley with and without a mustache]
Dwight K. Schrute: Neither of those looks like any person that has ever existed or been dreamt of in the history of human insanity. That said, the one on the left.
Gabe: Guys, that's the elevator. What if it's him?
Jim: Okay, quick. Who says mustache?
Dwight K. Schrute: Yep.
Jim: Who says no mustache?
Gabe: [revealing Stanley's mustahce] Ah! Ha ha ha!
Phyllis: He does have a mustache.
Dwight K. Schrute: Yes!
Pam: Welcome back, Stanley.