Frankie: [v.o.] I could tell by the look in his eyes Mike forgot to get me a gift. So I decided to take an extra-long shower. I thought I'd give them time to find me something nice.
Mike: Didn't we just do Valentine's Day? This whole thing's a racket. They trump up these phony holidays just so they can sell you a bunch of crap. If we had any guts, we would just say no to this. That'd be the best gift I could give your Mom, to teach you kids some backbone. [the kids sigh] All right, let's find that gift.