Michael Quote #169
Quote from Michael in Rhonda, Diana, Jake, and Trent
Michael: Hey, guys. Sorry, you wait here, while I go get us some more of these pins.
Tahani: But what is this place?
Michael: It's just a place. You know. An area or location. It's pretty straightforward.
Chidi: The Museum of Human Misery?
Michael: Oh, yeah. Okay. It's a torture museum. Famous examples of bad behavior, and explanations of the torture they earned.
Jason: Is there a gift shop?
Michael: Jason, this is Hell. Of course there's a gift shop. It's the least horrifying room. It's the Hall of Low-Grade Crappiness.
Eleanor: First person to floss in an open plan office? Well, she deserves to be tortured. She's a monster.
Michael: This was the safest place I could think of. No one ever comes in here. Guys, if you do leave this room, you're gonna see things that will haunt you for eternity. Okay. Back soon. Bye.
The Good Place Quotes
‘Rhonda, Diana, Jake, and Trent’ Quotes
Quote from Shawn
Val: Relax, Mike. This will all be over soon, and we can all head down to the Museum.
Michael: The Museum?
Shawn: Yes. Your neighborhood... Our neighborhood is being immortalized for its success. It's all going to work out. I took the form of a 45-year-old white man for a reason. I can only fail up.
Quote from Shawn
Michael: What's all this?
Shawn: Well, I was going to try to get the humans back by going through the proper channels, but then I remembered, I'm a naughty bitch. [all chuckle] So I sent a black ops team to Mindy's to extract them.
Michael: Nobody from the Bad Place is allowed in Mindy's neighborhood. You can't do that, Shawn. It's... It's illegal!
Shawn: Oh, no. Guys, Michael says this is illegal. I hadn't thought of that. [all laughing] That was sarcasm. I had thought of that.
Quote from Michael
Eleanor: You all right there, chief? You look like you lost your lucky bookmark or something.
Chidi: Oh, no. Did I? [chuckles] It's fine. Got it right here. It's just that now that we're actually on the train, heading to Bad Place Headquarters, this plan is starting to feel slightly... completely insane. This is the only way to get to the Judge?
Michael: I'm afraid so, yes. See the Judge exists in a sort of neutral zone, separate from the Good Place and the Bad Place. The only things there are the Judge's quarters, the accounting department, and the Janet warehouse. There's also an IHOP.
Jason: Oh! I'm gonna order the Rooty Tooty Fresh 'N Fruity!
Michael: No. Sorry. In this realm, IHOP stands for "Interdimensional Hole of Pancakes." You don't really eat these pancakes. It's more like they eat you.
Jason: Okay. I'll get eggs, then.