Tahani Quote #57
Quote from Tahani in Team Cockroach
Tahani: Michael, there's been a mistake. I belong in the Good Place. The real one with the good people. Who do I speak to about correcting this?
Michael: Me and you're wrong.
Tahani: Very well. I would like to speak to your manager.
Michael: Listen, sweetheart, you've only been in this timeline for about a week. So I think I'm gonna fast forward things a bit. There's a very good reason why you ended up here. You never cared about the people you were helping. You did it only for fame or status or to spite your family.
Tahani: That is utter tosh! I had my flaws, just like anyone else, but I raised billions for charity. I was a good person and I defy you or anyone else to prove otherwise.
Michael: You know, in all the reboots, I never showed you how you died. I was saving it in case I ever needed to really make you miserable. But it's hilarious. Of course, I mean sad. But it might help you come to grips with who you really were. Do you want to remember it?
The Good Place Quotes
‘Team Cockroach’ Quotes
Quote from Michael
Eleanor: If you're not human, why do you look like us?
Michael: Everyone in the Bad Place Bureau of Human Affairs gets randomly assigned a human body so we can get the feel of how best to torture you. I gotta say, it took me a long time to get used to the hanging bits.
Eleanor: Gross.
Michael: Oh, get your mind out of the gutter, Eleanor. I was talking about my testicles.
Quote from Tahani
Chidi: Anyone have any ideas?
Tahani: You know, believe it or not, I actually found myself in a very similar situation a few years ago, except in that instance, Michael was Javier Bardem and the Bad Place was Vanessa Redgrave's panic room.
Eleanor: Okay, stop talking. Do not talk again for 100 hours.
Quote from Jason
Eleanor: What do we do?
Jason: We team up with Michael.
Eleanor: Okay, hot take, but I like your confidence. Tell me why.
Jason: He has a bow tie.
Eleanor: Oh, no.
Jason: I always trust dudes in bow ties. Once, this guy in a bow tie came up to me at the gun range in a Jacksonville bus station and said he'd give me $600 if I put these weird turtles in my duffle bag and brought them to Daytona Beach. So I hotwired a swamp boat to Daytona and the guy paid me the $600. My point is, you always trust dudes in bow ties.
[Eleanor slaps the lollipop out of Jason's mouth]