Michael Quote #172
Quote from Michael in Rhonda, Diana, Jake, and Trent
Michael: Hey, guess what? I just solved the trolley problem. Remember? The thought experiment where you're driving the trolley, and you can either plow into a group of people or turn and hit one person? I solved it.
Eleanor: That's really great. But I don't think now's the time.
Michael: See, the trolley problem forces you to choose between two versions of letting other people die. And the actual solution is very simple. Sacrifice yourself.
Eleanor: What does that mean?
Michael: [gives Eleanor his pin] You look after the others. They need you.
Eleanor: No.
Shawn: Step away from the portal!
Michael: Good-bye, Eleanor.
Eleanor: No, no. Wait, wait! [Michael pushes Eleanor into the portal]
Michael: Hey, boss. What's up?
The Good Place Quotes
‘Rhonda, Diana, Jake, and Trent’ Quotes
Quote from Shawn
Val: Relax, Mike. This will all be over soon, and we can all head down to the Museum.
Michael: The Museum?
Shawn: Yes. Your neighborhood... Our neighborhood is being immortalized for its success. It's all going to work out. I took the form of a 45-year-old white man for a reason. I can only fail up.
Quote from Shawn
Michael: What's all this?
Shawn: Well, I was going to try to get the humans back by going through the proper channels, but then I remembered, I'm a naughty bitch. [all chuckle] So I sent a black ops team to Mindy's to extract them.
Michael: Nobody from the Bad Place is allowed in Mindy's neighborhood. You can't do that, Shawn. It's... It's illegal!
Shawn: Oh, no. Guys, Michael says this is illegal. I hadn't thought of that. [all laughing] That was sarcasm. I had thought of that.
Quote from Michael
Eleanor: You all right there, chief? You look like you lost your lucky bookmark or something.
Chidi: Oh, no. Did I? [chuckles] It's fine. Got it right here. It's just that now that we're actually on the train, heading to Bad Place Headquarters, this plan is starting to feel slightly... completely insane. This is the only way to get to the Judge?
Michael: I'm afraid so, yes. See the Judge exists in a sort of neutral zone, separate from the Good Place and the Bad Place. The only things there are the Judge's quarters, the accounting department, and the Janet warehouse. There's also an IHOP.
Jason: Oh! I'm gonna order the Rooty Tooty Fresh 'N Fruity!
Michael: No. Sorry. In this realm, IHOP stands for "Interdimensional Hole of Pancakes." You don't really eat these pancakes. It's more like they eat you.
Jason: Okay. I'll get eggs, then.