Jason Quote #39
Quote from Jason in What's My Motivation
Jason: Hey, um... why don't you want me to see Janet? I'm a good guy. All I want is to give Janet the life she deserves.
Michael: Janet is not built for human life, and I'm not sure you're much of a provider. Do you even remember how you died?
Jason: No, not really. It's a little fuzzy.
Michael: You and your friend Pillboi were trying to rob a restaurant.
Jason: Pillboi!
Michael: And then the cops showed up.
[flashback:]
Police Officer: So the plan was to pretend to install a safe with your friend hiding inside it. He pops out, steals the money from the restaurant, gets back in the safe, then you come in and uninstall it.
Pillboi: I refuse to discuss my fifth amendment rights until I concur with your attorney.
Police Officer: Sure. Look, we found your buddy's plans. We know he was the... brains. You were just an accomplice. If you're lucky, you might get probation. Jason going to jail?
Police Officer: No, man. Jason's dead. He suffocated in that safe. There were no air holes. Plus he did a bunch of whippits while he was in there, which couldn't have helped.
Pillboi: At least he died doing what he loved... a bunch of whippits. Now he's never gonna get the life he truly deserved.
Police Officer: Eh, I think he got roughly what he deserved.
The Good Place Quotes
‘What's My Motivation’ Quotes
Quote from Jason
Michael: I just want to make sure that I have this right. Um... Jianyu is not a Taiwanese monk, but rather someone named Jason Mendoza, a failed DJ from Jacksonville, Florida.
Jason: I wasn't a failed DJ. I was pre-successful.
Michael: And you two are married.
Jason: Hells yeah, homie. We love each other. She makes the bass drop... in my heart.
Quote from Tahani
Eleanor: Hello! Hi, how are you? There has to be something bigger I can do than holding the door and waving. There's no way every Walmart greeter is in the Good Place.
Tahani: Wal... mart?
Eleanor: It's a place regular people go. You haven't heard of it.
Tahani: Look, I know this is tedious, but holding a door for someone is three points, and if you do it for everyone in the neighborhood, then that's almost a thousand points for just a start. Besides, all the big ticket items are impossible, I'm afraid. It's not as if you could, you know, "sacrifice your life to save others" or "change the consciousness of a nation." Both of which I did, by the way. Such fun.
Quote from Tahani
Eleanor: Have a wonderful day. This is pointless. The ticker isn't even going up, and everyone's giving me the stink eye.
Tahani: Eleanor, everyone hates you.
Eleanor: Well, fork you too.
Tahani: No, this is good. Now that we know, we can actually do something about it. And I am an expert at mediating conflict, like when my friends Scary, Sporty, Posh, and Baby had an issue with my other friend Archbishop Desmond Tutu.