John: So Jianyu is really Jason from Florida? Who else knows about this? Is it just me? [gasps] Is it an exclusive?
Chidi: Yes, and we have to keep it that way. If the truth comes out, we have no idea what will happen to Jason.
John: You don't know what you're asking of me. Look, the neighborhood is obviously amazing, but it's also a little season four of Downton Abbey. Beautifully designed, but a real snooze-fest. Jason being a mistake is easily the most exciting thing that's happened since we got here!
Chidi: What if, in exchange for your discretion, Jason teaches you that "Magic Mike" body roll thing? Huh? I mean, you always said you wanted to learn that.
John: Fine. But I want to learn the whole dance.