Dave: Well, it was the first Hooters ever made out of brick, sort of inspired by Monticello.
Eleanor: Hey, mark.
Dave: Oh, no, it's Dave.
Eleanor: Oh, I know your name. I'm calling you a mark.
Michael: Easy.
Eleanor: I got news for you, dad-bod. The woman you know as Diana Tremaine is really Donna Shellstrop, my much older mother. She faked her death and changed her name. Sorry to burst your bubble, but that's the deal.
Dave: I already knew all that, Eleanor. Your mother told me everything the first night we met.
Eleanor: The first night?
Dave: Well, no, not the first night, actually. That was mostly sex. [chuckles] Your mother is a very confident and selfish lover.
Michael: Yikes.
Dave: No, no, no, it's perfect for me 'cause I don't know what I want. But anyway, the next morning she told me everything. And we're gonna tell Patricia once she's a little bit older. For now, everything is going great.
Eleanor: No, dude, you don't know my mom. She used to put, like, 50 things in a shopping cart, then go to the "12 items or less" aisle, scream "rat," and run out the door without paying. She is a liar.
Dave: Well, listen, she has been nothing but honest with me. And I like that she's got a wild streak. It kind of gets my motor running. Tell you the truth, she's turning me into a bit of a bad boy. I mean, who am I... Avril Lavigne? [men laugh]